As a parent, having certain conversations with your children early on is important. One of those key conversations is around respecting the boundaries of others and empowering children to have control over their own bodies.  

Teaching boundaries and body autonomy isn't just for teenagers; it starts much earlier. Imagine preschoolers choosing how they greet each other every morning -- high five, fist bump, handshake, or a hug. Giving children this simple choice is crucial. 

Challenging Old Traditions 

Think back to family gatherings. Often, kids are encouraged to “Give Aunt Sarah a hug,” which can lead to awkward moments. Experts now suggest reconsidering these traditions. Teaching kids that they control their bodies fosters a sense of autonomy and helps protect them from unwanted touch at any age. 

Key Strategies for Teaching Boundaries

Model respect. Communicate with your children about what you’re doing. For example, say, “I’m going to take off your muddy pants and put some clean ones on you.”

Teach correct names of body parts. Use proper names for all body parts, including genitals. This helps children discuss their bodies accurately and without embarrassment and enables them to report inappropriate touch clearly.

Reinforce ‘no means no.’ Listen when your child says they don’t want to be touched or tickled. Practice saying “no” and “stop,” and respect those boundaries. Teach them to respect others when they say “no” and “stop” as well.

Offer choices when possible. Even when certain actions are necessary, like washing hair or changing diapers, provide options. For example, “Would you like to hold the washcloth over your eyes?”

Be clear about choices around touch. Prepare for situations where relatives may want to hug or kiss your child. Offer alternatives like waving or high-fiving. This empowers the child to choose how they want to be touched.

Incorporate cultural traditions. Explain family greetings such as kisses on the cheek or bows. Children will often follow their parents’ lead without needing a prompt.

Teaching boundaries early on sets the stage for children to better understand and assert personal boundaries. It’s all about making them feel empowered and respected.

Child and Youth Programs (CYP) help to support children’s choices and teach participants about respecting boundaries. Interested in learning more about ways to support your child in this area? Contact your local CYP office.